Heart Berries
Written by Terese Marie Mailhot
Published in 2018 by Penguin Random House
Terese Marie Mailhot is from Seabird Island Band. Her childhood was defined by poverty, addiction, and abuse. Her later teen years were spent in the foster care system. She was married at 18 and became the mother of a son at age 20. Mailhot lost custody of her first son while giving birth to her second son.
After a breakdown, Mailhot committed herself to a mental health facility. When she entered the facility, she was given a notebook to record her feelings.
I committed myself after you asked me to leave. The nurses gave me a composition book and a ballpoint pen: the least I was ever given to write with, and I produced so much work. Every letter was to you. I don’t think you know what your word meant to me. I found hundreds of ways to ask you if I was wrong. I tried to ask you, without your pride, was our problem your fault at all? Were you really cold, or do I just imagine people don’t care about me? (p. 93)
These journal entries became the foundation for Heart Berries, a memoir written as a series of essays addressed to Casey, whom she began an affair with before entering the hospital and who later became her husband.
Eventually, Mailhot was diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder, an eating disorder, and bipolar II disorder. Heart Berries is the story of a woman using writing to understand and overcome pain as she develops her voice and her strength throughout the journey.
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Watch Terese Marie Mailhot read excerpts from Heart Berries here.
Listen to an interview with Terese Marie Mailhot here.